The Peeved Piper
by Nocturnal Supremacy
Summary: Kisame has been abducted by…little girls? As if the girls weren't bad enough, what the hell is up with all these rats? Surely this will haunt him for the remainder of his days.
1. Little Girls

_AN: It is what it is. Try not to take it too seriously :P. _

_Inspiration? I'll give you one guess… it involves a little red-headed orphan…_

_THAT'S RIGHT! Annie. __Miss Hannigan is such a freaking awesome character, I wanted to do a fic with her sort of in it… throw in the story of the Pied Piper and ya got yourself a story XD_

_Still working on my other fic but I really needed something else as sort of a refresher. As it stands now don't expect the chapters to be terribly long…but hopefully I'll be able to update frequently _

* * *

><p><em><strong>Little girls<br>Little girls  
>Everywhere I turn I can see them<br>Little girls  
>Little girls<strong>_

_**Night and day**_  
><em><strong>I eat, sleep and breathe them<strong>_

* * *

><p>'<em>Kids, definitely kids.'<em>

Another shrill squeal echoed into the foggy recesses of Kisame's mind.

'_Girls…has to be girls. So I've been taken prisoner by…little girls?'_

No that didn't seem right, there was no way little girls had taken him prisoner. His body was still numb; he couldn't even get his eyes to open so Kisame was left with his only available sense to gauge his current situation, his hearing.

"He's blue!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh! Take a look."

There was silence and then the sound of a collective gasp, there had to be at least a dozen of them, whatever they were… because they were _not_ girls. His ego wasn't going to allow him to believe that they were little girls.

"He _is_ blue!"

"He looks like a fish."

"A blue fish-man," someone giggled.

"Is he alive?"

"No, I think Sensei killed him."

'_Sensei? Now that sounds promising. I wasn't attacked by little girls; I was attacked by whoever their sensei is.'_

"Aw, he's dead? That's so sad, poor fish-man."

"Idiots, they wouldn't have chained him up if he was still alive."

'_They? So there's more than one.'_

"Maybe they were worried that he would come back as a zombie."

Kisame snorted at that and to his surprise it actually manifested into a sound. He wasn't the only on that had been surprised though, judging by the high-pitched screams of terror and the sounds of tiny feet fleeing the scene.

"Are you okay fish-man?"

Perhaps he hadn't scared them all off.

"Do you need some water?"

Kisame tried to ask where he was but his voice came out as a long drawn out gurgled groan.

There was the sound of something dragging against a stone floor, accompanied with little grunts and growls. A bit of silence followed and then he felt what he assumed was a bucket full of water being poured out over his head.

"Is that better?"

"Hotaru, what are you doing?"

Kisame's ears perked a little at the new voice. It was still feminine but more mature, an adult.

"I was watering the fish-man so he wouldn't turn into a zombie."

"…what?"

"Mami said he was going to turn into a zombie."

"Mami thinks everything will turn into a zombie," the adult voice sighed.

"So he's not going to turn into a zombie?"

"No he's not going to turn into a zombie."

"Are you suuuure?"

"Hotaru, so see what Shisou is doing."

Hotaru mumbled a disappointed 'okay' and Kisame could hear her little footstep trailing away and then pause.

"Piper?"

"Hm?"

"Are you gonna kill him?"

"…No, I won't kill him."

There was a long silence making Kisame wonder if this Piper woman had left with the little girl.

"I'm going to release the jutsu," Piper said sternly, breaking the silence suddenly. "Don't try to struggle; you'll only end up hurting yourself."

'_Keh, try not to struggle as I rip your fucking head off,' _Kisame thought darkly.

There was the sound of rustling fabric as Piper made the appropriate hand signs and then Kisame felt two fingers jab harshly against the middle of his chest. The numbness that had overtaken his body receded and before it had fully dissipated Kisame lunged forward blindly.

He figured he would attack first and then ask questions later. He hadn't counted on the two shackles binding his wrists to hold up against his massive strength.

"My aren't you a feisty one," Piper taunted as Kisame was jerked back like a dog on a leash. "That won't do you any good."

Kisame winced as the back of his head bounced off of the wall that his shackles were attached to.

"Who are you?" he growled as he tried focusing on the figure standing before him. Everything was a blurry mess but he could gather a few things about his surroundings. First, as he had learned quite painfully, he was shackled to a wall and had previously been in a sitting position. Second, he was in a windowless room and although there was a light source somewhere he couldn't pinpoint where. Thirdly, Piper was indeed a woman and much to the disappointment of his ego she was a relatively small woman.

"I'm Piper, thought you would have already caught that," Piper laughed sarcastically.

"I mean who are you with? What do you want? If you want information you're wasting your time because…"

"Hold on, hold on," Piper cut him off. "I'm not with anyone, and I certainly don't want any information from you. You invaded us, so I should be asking _you_ these questions."

"Invaded you?" Kisame asked dumbly.

Quickly he tried to replay what had happened before he found himself in his current predicament.

They, he and Itachi, had been looking for Orochimaru's hideaway. Pein didn't want any information being leaked through the damn snake. After a week of searching they still hadn't come up with anything so Itachi had decided to separate, cover more ground. After a few days Kisame had come across what he assumed had been an abandoned lab. He infiltrated it in hopes that he would find a clue about Orochimaru's current location. Anything after that was blank. He remembered vaguely walking down a hall…but that was it.

"I was looking for Orochimaru."

"Orochi-who? Never heard of her."

"Her..ugh," Kisame sighed, he would let it drop. "Then this has all been a misunderstanding hasn't it?"

Kisame glanced up warily. If his captors had attacked him simply because he had invaded their little hideout he was willing to grant them a little mercy. Now he just needed them to unbind him, undo whatever they had done to him and…

"Where the hell is my sword?" Kisame snapped, finally realizing that Samehada was missing.

"So you weren't looking for us?" Piper asked, ignoring Kisame's inquiry.

"I don't even know who the fuck you are!" Kisame yelled.

"Watch your language," Piper tittered.

"Yeah I noticed you have one hell of a kid infestatio…hey where are you going?"

"I need to speak with my partner," Piper said casually.

Kisame watched as her blurred image strode away from him and out the only door in the room.

"Don't get too close to it," he heard her say from the hallway outside. "And don't pour anymore water on it."

"It?" Kisame grumbled.

'_So I'm an _it_ now?'_

"See I told you he wasn't dead."

Kisame watched as several heads popped out around the doorway.

"He could still be a zombie."

"Oh shut up Mami."

"He said a bad word."

"Hey we should wash his mouth out," one of them laughed.

'_Hn, if one of them gets close enough I could use them as a hostage.'_

"Go find a stick and some soap!"

'…_Fuck.'_

* * *

><p>"Could always kill him," Piper muttered to the tall dressing screen in the corner of the dimly lit room.<p>

"Now what would be the fun in that?" someone slurred from behind the screen.

"Not having our location discovered is always _fun_."

"This is the first male to find their way into our midst in…in…"

"Forever?" Piper offered.

"Yeah, and forever is a _really_ long time. Granted men are usually useless but they do have _some_ uses if you know what I mean."

"No I really _don't_ know what you mean," Pipper huffed. "Ren…how much have you had to drink today?"

"Ah that's right," Ren laughed as she sauntered out from behind the screen. Piper could only roll her eyes. You would think that the woman had gotten dressed but no, it appeared she had taken clothes _off_. "My little blushing virgin, of course you wouldn't know what I was talking about."

"How about you do whatever you're planning on doing to him and _then_ we kill him," said Piper, choosing to ignore Ren's little jibe.

"And what do you think I plan on doing to him?" Ren asked huskily.

Pipers round cheeks flushed and she looked away. This woman was seriously disturbed. She had done a lot of good in her lifetime but it didn't take away from that fact that she was a total lush and a harlot.

"I don't know and I don't _care_," Piper bit out.

"Alright alright," Ren laughed, her green eyes sparkling mischievously. "But c'mon, we have plenty of time. If you can keep him subdued I don't see any reason to not keep him around."

"Plenty of time?" Piper sputtered. "We planned on being out of here within a month."

"Uh-huh, and at the end of that month we'll either kill him or knock him out and leave him to wake up on his own," said Ren as she draped her slender arms around Piper's shoulders. "Once he comes to we'll be long gone and we'll have nothing to worry about n-kay."

"Kill him…No knocking him out. I don't want to risk being tracked."

"You're such a paranoid little tart," Ren snorted.

"For good reason."

"Well come on my little clam let's go have a look at our catch of the day."

"I've seen enough of him thanks."

* * *

><p>Kisame ducked left to avoid the soap on a stick being shoved in his face only to be met with yet another bar of soap.<p>

His vision had finally returned but that had only made the situation worse. He had been happier when he couldn't see the grubby little faces of his attackers.

They all looked to be under the age of ten and they were all female.

There was Yuzuki, who looked to be the eldest of the bunch and was also the ringleader. She had long blond hair, blue eyes, and was covered head to toe in freckles. She hadn't actually participated in the attempt to wash his mouth out but happily barked out orders from the corner of the room.

Then there was Chouko, one of the girls that was currently wielding one of the soaps on a stick. Her appearance reminded him of someone who had stuck their finger in a light socket; her black hair was short and stuck up chaotically.

The other wielder of soap was Emi, who reminded him slightly of Itachi. She had inky black eyes and long black hair that was pulled back into a low ponytail. She hadn't said anything as she carried out her viscous attack but the look of her face was downright malicious.

Lastly there was little Hotaru and Mami, both of whom continued to voice their displeasure towards the other girl's activities. Mami looked to be about seven or so, with shoulder length auburn hair and dull jade eyes. From what Kisame could gather Mami's only reason for not participating was because she feared that he indeed was a zombie and according to her assaulting a zombie was bad luck.

Hotaru had quickly become his favorite; she seemed genuinely concerned about his wellbeing and had broken out in tears when the other girls had started up with their antics. Kisame deduced that she couldn't have been older than five. Her hair was…unusual, though not as unusual as Chouko's. It was silvery blue and pulled into a gravity defying little ponytail directly on the top of her head and rather than lopping over like a normal ponytail would, it stood straight up.

He wasn't sure where the other girls had run off to but he had been sure that there had been more than what were currently there.

"Okay!" A shrill voice rang out. "Out ya little pig droppings!"

Yuzuki was the first to book it from the room, followed closely by Emi.

After those two made their retreat two women stepped into the room and into Kisame's line of sight. One he recognized as the blurry shape that had been Piper. Now that he had a good look at her he noted that Mami was almost an exact replica of her, just smaller.

'_They must be related,' _Kisame mused.

The other woman, Ren, looked to be in her mid-forties. She was haggard and worn looking, though with how these kids acted Kisame supposed it was to be expected. She had ginger colored hair and green eyes. Unlike her partner, who was covered from neck to toe in a dingy grey cloak, Ren was hardly dressed at all. She appeared to be wearing nothing more than satin undershorts and top….and a bright red feather boa.

"I said out!" Ren bellowed when the other girls decided to linger.

"Hag!" Chouko screeched before running out of the room.

"And you wonder why no one loves you!" Ren yelled back.

"That was harsh," Mami muttered.

"Got something to say princess?" Ren sneered, taking a threatening step towards the girl.

"Ren," Piper warned, stepping between her and Mami. "…Mami, out."

"Yeah, I'm goin," Mami grumbled. "Just make sure he doesn't bite you…I don't wanna burn your undead corpse."

Piper arched a brow but didn't say anything.

"Well my little fish stick," Ren smiled, turning to Kisame. "Good news…what are you still doing here?"

Ren's smile faded as she caught sight of Hotaru still standing in the room.

"I'm not a pig dropping," Hotaru mumbled.

"Okay," Piper said softly. "All princesses out as well."

Hotaru smiled brightly and with one final glance toward Kisame she made her exit.

Ren rolled her eyes, "Anyway, good news, we aren't going to kill you."

"Yet," Piper added.


	2. Someday

Chapter 2: Someday

* * *

><p>Someday I'll step on their freckles<p>

Some night I'll straighten their curls.

Send a flood

Send the flue

Anything that you can do to,

Little girls.

* * *

><p>"This is Poppy, she's missing an eye," Hotaru murmured sadly as she presented Kisame with a small ragdoll. "Mami said she needed an eye for a ritual that would ward off the werewolves... so she ripped out hers."<p>

Kisame nodded dejectedly. After talking with Piper and Ren he had decided he was going to give up on living for the next month. They had no intentions of letting him go until they moved to whatever new hideout they were currently in the process of moving to. Normally he would do everything in his power to break free, kill his captors and then report back to Pein but in this instance he found himself swimming in uncertain waters.

He had no idea where Samehada was and his chakra was being continuously drained by unknown methods. It was no wonder that they didn't care if small children were left around him, at the moment he was harmless.

The shackles that bound his arms weren't even long enough to allow him to scratch his nose, so unless he planned on launching some elaborate attack using only his feet he was screwed.

They didn't seem terribly viscous though so he assumed at some point he would be allowed to relieve himself and possibly bathe. He held out hope that he would be able to stage an escape whenever that time came.

Chances of Itachi finding him seemed slim as well. It had been a freak chance that he had come across the hideout and even more disheartening was the fact he hadn't felt any chakra signatures even though he should have felt _something_. Even the little brat sitting across from him had a chakra signature.

"Piper said she would replace the eye with a button," Hotaru continued. "But I thought she would look a little funny with a normal eye and a button eye…what do you think?"

"She wouldn't look funny with a button eye," Kisame sighed.

Hotaru glanced down at her doll and then at Kisame, "Really?"

"Really."

"Maybe I'll tell Piper I changed my mind."

"So," Kisame said slowly. The kid had obviously taken a liking to him, he figure he would try getting a little information out of her. "Piper is your…leader?"

"Leader?" Hotaru questioned, her little face screwing up in confusion. "Piper takes care of us."

"What about Ren?"

"Uh…Shishou she…Piper says she drinks too much?"

"How many of there are you?"

"A lot."

"All girls?"

"You like to ask a lot of questions," Hotaru giggled.

"Fine," Kisame huffed. "If you answer my questions I'll answer any of yours."

"But I don't have any questions."

"I'm sure you'll think of something. Okay?"

"Okay."

Kisame smirked triumphantly but it quickly faded upon realizing that he was essentially interrogating a child and it didn't take much to get kids to talk.

"So are you all girls?"

"Yes…Why does your face look so funny?"

Kisame's jaw tightened, was a little girl seriously insulting him? It was bad enough to be playing twenty questions with a kid but even worse if said kid started making fun on him.

"You keep doing this," said Hotaru as her little nose scrunched up and her mouth twitched from side to side.

"My nose itches," he replied, realizing she wasn't asking about his face in general but rather the face he was making.

"Want me to scratch it for you?" she offered helpfully.

"No."

"Okay."

"Why aren't all of you with your parents?"

"They don't want us," Hotaru frowned, her eyes drooping sadly.

"…Why don't they want you?"

He wasn't going to admit it but her answer had pulled a little at his heart.

"Because we're girls."

"Why wouldn't they want you because your girls?"

"I don't know," Hotaru mumbled.

* * *

><p>"Pretty sweet payout eh Sensei?"<p>

Piper smiled a bit at the three young women as they hefted the last of the cardboard boxes filled with miscellaneous goods into their makeshift kitchen. "Yeah not too bad."

"Not too bad?" Saika scoffed. "More like freakin amazing!"

"Yeah Sensei ya gotta admit we came through this time," Miu added.

"I'd say we have enough here for at least two months," Miki piped in as she set her box down.

"More like two weeks," Piper frowned, opening one of the boxes.

"Agh!" Miki huffed, brushing her lavender hair out of her eyes. "Just tell us we did a good job."

"You need a haircut," Piper snorted.

"I aint letting you anywhere near my hair, I saw what you did to Chouko!"

"I thought it looked nice," Piper smirked.

"She looks like a mental patient," Saika laughed.

"Chouko _is_ a bit mental," said Miu.

"We're gettin off subject," Miki chimed. "C'mon Sensei, say it."

"You guys did a good job," Piper sighed.

Miki cheered, Miu smiled, and Saika smirked.

Silence fell over the kitchen as the four of them set out to sort through the boxes until Piper got to one box in particular.

"You heard anything yet?" Saika asked, eyeing the can of powdered infant formula that Piper had pulled out.

"Nothing yet," Piper said softly. "But I guess that's a good sign."

"Yeah," the other three girls said in unison.

"So you'll still be heading out in a week?" Miki asked.

Piper nodded.

"Heh, hopefully the little rat won't be late," Miu chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"I would prefer she was late rather than early," replied Piper. "I don't mind waiting around, though this couldn't be a worse time."

"Huh, what do ya mean?" Miki asked.

"I'll finish putting things away," Piper laughed, almost bitterly. "Go check out Ren's new pet, he's in the room across from mine."

The three girls exchanged looks and then made a mad dash out of the kitchen.

Pipers eyes drifted down to the can still clutched in her hand. They were fairly good about keeping their supplies up but soon they were going to have another mouth to feed and who knew how many would follow after that. It wouldn't be too long until they found themselves scraping the bottom of the figurative barrel.

"Today seriously sucks," Piper groaned.

* * *

><p>"Woah," two identical voices said in unison, breaking up Kisame's game of twenty questions with Hotaru.<p>

He looked up and was met with the sight of three teenage girls standing in the doorway, a set of twins with that looked like lavender mop-heads for hair and a sour looking brunette.

'_Great, more of them,'_ thought Kisame.

"This is Kisame, he's a fish-shark-man," Hotaru informed them.

"Jeeze, when Piper said pet I figured it would be a dog or something," Miki laughed, venturing further into the room.

"Pet?" Kisame sputtered.

"Hey, check it out," said Miu, following after her sister. "It can talk."

Saika lingered in the doorway, something didn't seem right, well aside from the obvious fact that there was a blue man chained up to the wall. He looked familiar, or at least the cloak he was wearing did. Red clouds, she knew she was missing something significant but what was it?

'_Yeah they wear black cloaks with red clouds on them,' _the voice of a passing ninja echoed into her mind. _'They call themselves the…'_

"Akatsuki," Saika gasped.

Quickly she lunged forward and pulled Hotaru away from Kisame by her arm.

"Hey!" Hotaru protested at the rough treatment.

"Shut up!" Saika snapped, working herself up into a frenzied state. "Uh..uh, okay. You two keep an eye on him, I-I need to go talk to Piper…Hotaru stay the hell away from him!"

"She said a bad word," Hotaru murmured, scooting back towards Kisame after Saika flew out the doorway.

"Wonder what has _her_ panties in a bunch," Miki muttered to Miu.

Kisame grinned, at least someone in this shit-hole knew who he was or at least about the organization he belonged to. Maybe there was hope of being let go after all.

"Big bad shark-man got caught in the rats snare did he?" Miu cackled, crouching down so she was at eye-level with Kisame.

Kisame was tempted to kick her. He wasn't caught, he was ambushed…ambushed by a tiny red-headed woman. God, no matter how many times he tried to re-word that in his head it never sounded any better.

"You'll be singing a different tune when I get out of here," Kisame warned.

"Whatever you say blue-balls, but once Piper gets ahold of you…there's no getting away," Miu sneered back.

Kisame rolled his eyes, the kid needed a lesson in sounding intimidating.

"Blue-balls?" Hotaru repeated eyeing Kisame.

"Bells, blue-bells," Miu said quickly. "Like the flower."

"…but you said."

"Drop it Hotaru," Miki sighed.

* * *

><p>"We're killing him," Piper said with eerie calmness as she and Raika burst into Ren's room without knocking.<p>

"Fuck killing him!" Raiki exclaimed. "Do you know how much some villages would pay to have him _alive_."

"What on earth are you two talking about?" Ren muttered around the bottle that was pressed to her lips.

"That _freak_ isn't just some random ninja," Piper spat.

"He's a member of the Akatsuki," Raika said.

Ren nodded, she had already been aware of that fact but hadn't said anything for fear of what Piper might do.

"So we kill him," she said. "Then what?"

"What do you mean?" Piper asked skeptically.

"You think his little group isn't going to notice he's missing? You think they won't come looking for him? Same goes for handing him in…You really think they won't know who collected the bounty?"

"If we kill him they won't find us."

"Are you one hundred percent sure Piper?" Ren asked. She knew that Piper was _never_ sure of _anything_.

"So what, we keep him here for the next month? The risks are the same as killing him."

"Ah but a month really isn't long enough to sniff him out," Ren smiled. "When we're ready we'll let him go, then they'll have no reason to search us out. From what I hear they've been pretty busy we'll only be a minor set-back…not worth their time"

"From what you…you _knew_," Piper hissed.

"Unlike you I can see the importance in knowing what's going on in the outside world," Ren laughed. "Now go bind him."

Piper quickly turned heel and strode out of the room. There were a number of things she wanted to say and do, none of which would have ended well.

"Why do you do that to her?" Saika asked softly.

"Oh go follow your precious Sensei," Ren grumbled, waving her hand dismissively.

Saika gave one final glare before turning to leave as well, slamming the door on her way out.

"Insolent little whelps," Ren leered.

They had no idea how much she had suffered to get them where they were today. The day Piper showed up was the day they had stopped respecting her all together.

"Who needs em."

Kisame's arrival had been unexpected but it was a blessing in disguise. Turning him in for a bounty was a _very_ good idea, the moment she had seen him she had started working out her plan.

She had spotted him not too far from the hideout, and after a quick bit of thinking went back to tell Piper that someone was getting close. Before entering the underground tunnels, which led to the abandoned military fort where they currently resided, she had made sure the entrance was partially uncovered.

Piper had jumped into action, just like Ren knew she would, masking any chakra signals with those damn rats of hers and hiding all the brats.

After that it became a waiting game.

Though Kisame had seemed to be looking for something Ren hadn't been sure what and she had almost feared that he wouldn't take the bait. Then came the sound of a massive body colliding with a stone floor, Ren had nearly laughed at how perfect it worked out.

Now all she needed to do was wait a week. Piper would be gone for at least two days but probably more and by the time she returned Ren would be long gone.

Kisame was a pussycat in his current state so it was going to be _very_ easy to drag his blue ass in and hand him over nice sum of ryo. She would be on her way towards easy street and Piper would be left to deal with the kids on her own.

"God I'm a genius," Ren smiled.

* * *

><p>AN:<p>

Dear Lord -_-

Okay so for this story it's more than necessary to have a large collection of character…but doing descriptions seriously kills me! I might end up doing a quick character sheet…what do you think?


	3. An Understanding

_**Chapter 3: An Understanding.**_

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>Behavior which appears superficially correct but is intrinsically <strong>__**corrupt**__** always irritates those who see below the surface**__**"**_

* * *

><p>Saika reached out to steady Piper as she swayed a little. "Maybe you should take a break."<p>

"If I don't finish now I'll have to start all over, heh I guess I'm just a little rusty."

Kisame blinked what else could he do? Piper looked pale and sweaty; like she had just finished one hell of a fight but thus far she hadn't actually done anything to him. An hour earlier she had entered his little room with Saika, knelt down in front of Kisame, gripped his forearms and then proceeded to stare at him intently. As the minutes ticked away she started to breathe heavily until she was eventually panting, the whole thing would have been sort of erotic if it hadn't been so damn creepy.

He hadn't felt anything at all, no pain, no discomfort, no tingling sensation that was usually associated with medical ninjutsu…nothing, which led him to believe that she had be crazy.

Piper stepped toward Kisame again; this time instead of reaching for him she pressed her palm against the wall behind him.

Once again nothing happened. Saika continued to watch, Piper continued to breathe inappropriately and Kisame figured it was a good time to take a nap.

One hour passed and then two until Kisame really did start to doze off. A throaty dry chuckle near his ear pulled him back from his twilight sleep. Piper had moved down, her hand still pressed against the wall and her cheek nearly touching his.

"This is some of the weirdest torture I've ever had to endure," Kisame snorted.

_-Click-_

Even as the shackles fell away from his wrists Kisame was too stunned to move. All of that just to end with her letting him go? He didn't attack blindly like he did the last time, there had to be something he was missing.

Piper sat back as Kisame's arms slid to his side. His eyes never left hers for even a second; worried she might suddenly do something.

-But she was still entirely too close for comfort and her eyes were taunting him. The bitch obviously didn't know how much trouble she was in.

He wouldn't touch the kids, that just wasn't in his nature, and he would even be willing to let the older girls go so long as they didn't get in his way, but Piper… He was going to slice that smug look right off her face. Anyone who had the nerve to sit practically nose to nose with him disserved what they had coming.

_I'm going to kill you._ His eyes told her.

_I would love to see you try_. Her eyes replied.

He knew he still didn't have any chakra but he figured he wouldn't need any to wring her scrawny little neck. With that thought he moved to make his attack.

_-Thud-_

Kisame winced as his head collided with the wall for the second time that day. It had felt like chords attached somewhere within his back and arms had yanked him back forcefully.

"The fuck!" Kisame yelled, pulling away from the wall.

"That was fun shall we try it again?" asked Piper, who still hadn't move from her spot.

Again Kisame was pulled back against the wall, his arms outstretched like some mock crucifixion. This time though he was able to catch the slight twitch of Piper's fingers.

'_Puppet-Master Jutsu?' _Kisame wondered. No, he'd been around Sasori long enough to know that it just didn't fit.

A tiny bit of panic began to set in. He had no idea what he was dealing with or how to counter it. His eyes darted around, try to get some sort of clue. His stomach sank when they landed on his left forearm. Two solid black rings, about an inch and a half thick, now marred his blue flesh.

'_Kakuzu.'_

Kisame knew his fellow Akatsuki had been imprisoned by his own village but he had never asked about the reasons or the methods. He had a sinking feeling that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"Show him where the bathroom is," said Piper as she stood. "He can sleep on the floor tonight…I'll look for the spare cot in the morning."

"Uh, okay," Saika mumbled, looking to Kisame and then to Piper as she exited the room. "…which bathroom?"

"Mine," Piper groaned as she crossed the hall towards her own room.

Kisame's eyes narrowed in on Saika. Did she have the same ability or did Piper just make a huge mistake by leaving her with him?

To test this theory Kisame stood and took a threatening step forward. Saika in response backed away.

Kisame felt a slight tug on his arms but noted that Saika's fingers hadn't moved. He took another step and watched her closely for _any_ sign of movement. Again a slight tug but no movement from Saika.

'_Is it reacting to my intentions or…'_

Kisame's thoughts were cut short as he felt himself being pulled back full force. His shoes skidded against the floor as he tried to resist but ultimately that resistance only made his collision with the wall all the more forceful. Through the pounding of his head Kisame could hear a wicked laugh echo out from Pipers room and into the hall.

"Damn it," he hissed under his breath. "You guys have some sort of surveillance I don't know about?"

"The rats," Saika mumbled uncomfortably, then pointed to each corner of the room.

The lighting in the room wasn't great so Kisame had to strain a little to see the little holes near the ceiling of each corner. It was faint but he could slightly make out beady little eyes in each of the holes.

"Rats," Kisame repeated, an involuntary shudder passing through his body. He hated rats, they were disgusting little creatures.

"Wait," he chuckled slightly as a thought hit him. "So her name is Piper, she hangs around a bunch of kids…and rats."

"Yeah?" Saika said slowly.

"Pretty ironic."

"How so?"

"Ever heard of the Pied Piper?" Kisame snorted.

"It's a nickname," Saika huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Ah so it was intentional?"

"The bathroom is across the hall," Saika grumbled. "I wouldn't try venturing further than that, I doubt Piper would hesitate to pull you through the wall."

Kisame watched her leave and then ventured to the doorway of his room. He planned on gathering as much information about his surroundings as he could but first…he needed to take care of business. Slowly he crossed the hall, waiting for any feeling of being pulled back; when no such feeling came he reached for the door.

The bathroom was cramped to say the least. There was a sink, a toilet and a narrow shower all jammed into a space about four feet wide and six feet long. As he shuffled clumsily around the sink a bit of movement in the corner above the shower caught his eye.

"Are you seriously going to watch me take a piss!" Kisame snapped at the grey rat head poking out of a hole in the wall.

The rat continued to stare.

"Fine."

Kisame fumbled with his pants and tried to ignore his audience but he was struck with a serious case of stage fright.

"Bitch!" Kisame cursed when nothing continued to happen. Even through the stone walls he could hear Piper laugh.

"Sick, perverted," Kisame groused under his breath. "Probably gets off on…ugh…"

Several minutes later Kisame emerged from the bathroom, the stupid rat had eventually looked away allowing him to finish.

* * *

><p>"Naw, naw, naw, <em>this<em> piece goes _here_," said Miki as she snatched the piece of black metal from her sister's grasp.

"Like hell it does," Miu replied, grabbing another piece. "This one goes there."

Kisame groaned. This was the second time these two were in his room that morning. The first time they had completely assembled a cot, then decided it would be too small for him and proceeded to disassemble it. Now they were in the process of putting together the futon that he found out was normally in their rec-room but had been packed away for their move.

After about half an hour of listening to the two bicker he had informed them that he would be fine with just the mattress but they had objected. Not because they were concerned about him sleeping on the floor but rather the effect the floor would have on said mattress. So unless he wanted to lock himself in the bathroom he was stuck listening to them argue because Piper wasn't going to let him venture any further into their hideout.

From his position on the mattress he spotted Piper stalking past his doorway with a green-haired toddler on one hip, another toddler walking beside her holding her hand and yet another toddler clinging to her leg as she walked.

Kisame smirked, taking a bit of satisfaction in knowing that her morning seemed to be going far worse than his.

"That smile better be because you're admiring the wonders of maternal patience, fish-boy," Miu said.

"Of course," Kisame replied sarcastically.

"Hey and get off the mattress," Miki snapped. "You're going to screw it up."

"No."

Miu and Miki exchanged looks and then grinned.

Before Kisame had time to react one of them sat on his chest while the other pulled his arms up over his head. He tried to struggle but either he was far more weakened by his lack of chakra than he thought he was or they were using some sort of technique because the one sitting on his chest was a _lot_ heavier than she should be.

Miki, the one sitting on Kisame, began to snort, gurgle, and make a number of disgusting noises that Kisame wasn't even sure how to describe.

'_She wouldn't dare,'_ Kisame thought nauseously.

With a smirk Miki leaned forward over Kisame's horror stricken face and proceeded to let a long strand of mucous and spit slip out from between her lips. When the strand was only an inch away from touching him she slurped it back up, causing Kisame to gag, (AN: I'm gagging just thinking about it.) then repeated the process.

"Okay I'll get off the fucking mattress!"

"Ah-hah, one point for team twins," Miki cheered as she moved off Kisame. "Team shark, _zero_!"

Kisame glared and backed himself up to sit against the wall, "Both of you are disgusting."

Silence fell over the room until the two of them began sniggering and it wasn't until the smell of rotting eggs wafted towards him that he realized _why_ there were sniggering.

* * *

><p>"These ones might be a little short but they should fit."<p>

"You just happen to have men's clothing lying around?" Kisame asked as he accepted a pair of black drawstring pants from Piper.

"Sometimes the girls don't check boxes to see what's inside a them before they take them."

"What do they do, raid warehouses?" Kisame chuckled.

"They do what has to be done," Piper glared.

Kisame nodded a little bit, "So what exactly _is_ going on around here? I doubt hanging around underground and eventually becoming thieves is all that great of a childhood."

"Hotaru already explained that to you, unless I misheard what you two were talking about."

"Hah, so you had me under _surveillance_ even then huh?"

"Of course."

"She said her parents didn't want her."

"…and in Hotaru's case that's true."

"But why?"

"She was born female."

"I still don't understand _why_ that would matter," Kisame sighed. It had been easier questioning the kid.

Piper hesitated, not sure about how much she wanted to let him know. Though if she didn't tell him one of the other girls would and honestly she was better equipped to deal with the emotional tension that came with touching such a delicate subject.

"Our village wasn't satisfied with their military force. It was…sufficient for a village of our size but in comparison to neighboring villages it was quite small. So, the elders decided to do what was necessary expand their numbers. Any form of birth control was banned but that wasn't good enough. The birthrate increased but it seemed that there were always more girls than boys. Men are naturally stronger than women in most cases and the elders considered it a waste of time and resources to train the girls…"

"Why not just let them be civilians?" Kisame cut in, catching where she was going.

"It would have increased an unwanted civilian population."

"So what, they just kill em if they pop out female?"

"Most don't even get that far."

"They abort them?"

Kisme didn't like the situation and if given the chance he told himself that he would still kill Piper but a small part of his heart went out to them. He knew firsthand how brutal some villages could be in their conquest for power…but killing babies?

"Luckily there are a few medic that don't agree with what the village is doing and are willing to step in by either helping women who don't wish to abort or lying to the women who wouldn't care either way."

"Eventually they'll _need_ girls though."

"And that is something that has already been taken into consideration. Daughters of prominent clans are usually allowed to live."

"Usually?"

Piper nodded a little and frowned. "Even their numbers can be restricted."

"So how did you end up here?"

"Hotaru's right, you do like to ask questions," Piper half-laughed.

"I'm all about the details," Kisame smirked.

"My mother got pregnant and was informed that she was having a girl…luckily she wasn't forced to abort because the medic had been willing to lie about the sex of the child… but Ren had her hands full at the time and had halted all contact with the medics. My mother begged me to find her, take my sister to her and then return… but things didn't go as smoothly as was planned. I was caught by a guard while sneaking out of the village and rather than handing my sister over, I fought back…accidently killing him. There was no way I could go back after that but it worked out better this way."

* * *

><p>"Are you <em>seriously<em> going to watch me eat?" Kisame snapped.

"Gotta make sure you don't use the utensils to make a weapon," Saika shrugged. "Pipers orders."

"What the hell could I make with a plastic spoon!"

"Just shut up and eat," Saika sighed. "And once you're done with that Piper said to take a shower because you reek."

"Do I don't," Kisame grumbled as he poked at the contents of the bowl he had been given, it _almost_ looked like stew but he wasn't too sure. "It's probably the lingering smell left over from those twins."

Saika chuckled, Miki and Miu had been laughing about what they had done to Kisame so she knew what he was referring to. "Although Miu and Miki can produce some pretty interesting smells by means of their asses I don't think rank body-odor is one of them."

Discreetly Kisame lifted his arm and cringed.

'_Maybe she's right.'_

* * *

><p>AN: So we're getting a little more information about what's going on but there are still quite a few loose ends… trust me, it'll all come together eventually. XD<p>

I have one character sheet up. It has Ren, Miki, Miu, Piper, Saika, and Hotaru and the link can be found on my profile ^_^

Thanks to XxImmortalButterflyxX 1KAKUZU1 for being my first reviewers on this story :) It's always nice to know someone is enjoying your work.


	4. Omnipotence

_**Chapter 4: Omnipotence. **_

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>Animals have a way of sensing your true nature and often respond accordingly."<strong>_

* * *

><p>"So what do you want us to do with the shark while you're gone?" asked Saika as she leaned against the doorframe of Pipers room.<p>

"I haven't figured that one out yet," Piper replied, shaking her head.

"Well what's the range on that…whatever you did?"

"Binding jutsu?" Piper laughed. "Eh, it's pretty long but not _that_ long."

"The rats will continue to feed on his chakra right?"

"Yeah that shouldn't be a problem."

"We'll just chain him back up," Saika shrugged.

"Babies are never born on time," Piper sighed. "I could be gone two days or two weeks. I think he'd stink up the place if he was chained up for _that_ long."

"Don't have to chain him to the wall, could put him on a leash of sorts…long enough to allow him to get to the bathroom."

"That would work until one of the little girls accidently got too close."

"We'll tell them to stay away."

"They never listen, you know that."

"Me, Miki, and Miu could go pick up the kid."

"Too dangerous…I might end up having to take him with me."

"Are you sure that's such a great idea?" Saika asked uncertainly.

"Honestly?...No, but I don't see any way around it."

"How are you, ya know…gonna keep in under control?"

"I can bind him to myself just as easily as I did the wall…actually in hindsight I should have done that to begin with."

"When you get closer to the village you're going to have to leave him somewhere though."

"Not necessarily, I think he's smart enough to know that if _I_ get caught _he_ gets caught so it would be in his best interest to make sure that I _don't_ get caught."

"You sure about that?" Saika giggled. "He seems like the brute type, I doubt there's much of a brain in that blue head of his."

"You know, I _can_ hear you," Kisame grumbled irritably from his room. Oh, what he wouldn't give for a door.

"Shush, no one was talking to you," said Saika.

"No, you were talking _about_ me, that automatically gives me the right to say something."

"…Talking about people isn't nice," a little voice said from the direction of Kisame's room.

A puzzled expression crossed Saika's face as she pushed away from the doorframe to seek out the owner of the voice. "Hotaru?" she questioned, peeking into Kisame's room. "What are you doing in here?"

Both Kisame and the little girl were sitting cross-legged on the futon that had been set up earlier that day. Originally when Hotaru had invaded Kisame's room he had tried moving away from her each time she came to sit or stand next to him, eventually he had given up. He really couldn't understand her willingness to stay in such close proximity to him.

It was human nature to fear things that were different and he was _definitely_ different, even by adult standards he was considered a monster, yet Hotaru seemed unfazed.

"We're coloring," said Hotaru, holding up the pad of paper that had been sitting in her lap.

Kisame couldn't have felt sillier in that moment. He should have sent her away the moment she entered his room uninvited, but he hadn't and probably wouldn't if she chose to do so again. He _liked_ that she was so brazenly defiant to typical human nature.

"She's been in here for the last hour," Piper said, stepping behind Saika.

"I dunno if she should be in there with him," said Saika in a low voice.

"I don't see any problem with it, I mean if he tries anything…"

"That's not what I mean," Saika interrupted. "He's the first guys she's even come in contact with and he's…well he's freaky looking. I don't want her getting the wrong idea about what men look like."

"I can _still_ hear you," Kisame snapped. Her comment was insulting though it had been a humorous notion. If he walked away from all of this and successfully caused a little girl to believe that all men were blue with shark-like features it would almost make his time there worth it.

"So you and I are going to be goin on a little fieldtrip eh?" Kisame asked when the two women continued to ignore him in favor of talking amongst themselves.

"Looks that way," Piper muttered.

Kisame flashed her a toothy and dangerous looking smile. "Sounds like _fun_."

"You better behave if you know what's good for you," Saika glared.

"Or what princess? You really think being caught would be all that big of an inconvenience for me? If I get taken in by a village the Akatsuki would undoubtedly hear about it, so actually I would be better off."

Kisame's comment was partially true at least. In all honesty he really doubted the Akatsuki would come charging in to rescue him, it would be easier to have Zetsu come in and kill him to avoid having any information leaked through him. His best bet was to be left within their hideout, it was apparent that Piper had a limited range on her technique and he couldn't help wonder if it was true for the rats as well. He had heard her say that the rats would continue draining his chakra but nothing about whether or not she could maintain in contact with them over large distances. Without her constant surveillance it would be a bit easier to find ways of freeing himself.

"Are you sure you don't want to put him on a leash, or just chain him up to the wall the way he had been before?" Saika asked, turning to look at Piper.

"He's bluffing," Piper said calmly.

'_Perceptive little bitch,' _Kisame inwardly snorted.

"Hey Sensei?" a voice that Kisame didn't recognize called from what sounded like a good distance down the hall.

"Yeah?" Piper called back, turning from Kisame to look at whoever was talking.

"Ren said that if she doesn't get away from the kids soon she's going to snap!"

"I'll be down in a second," Piper sighed.

"She's only been in there for two hours," Saika muttered.

"Sometimes the little ones can be a handful."

"You're making excuses for her."

Piper shrugged and turned back to Kisame and Hotaru. "C'mon Hotaru."

"I don't want to go back to the big-girl room… They always tease me," the little girl whined as she slid off the futon.

"You can come to the little girl room and help me," Piper chuckled. "How does that sound?"

"Okay, but I won't have to do diapers right?" asked Hotaru, reaching out to take the hand Piper had offered her.

"Heh, no I'll take care of the diapers."

"Big girl room, little girl room, what sort of system do you guys have worked out here?" asked Kisame, just for the sake of asking once Piper and Hotaru were gone. With Horaru leaving he was losing his only source of entertainment.

"Well," said Saika thoughtfully. " Little girls are kept in one area until they turn five, big girls range from five to eleven, once they turn twelve their sent back to the little girl room and graduate to helpers, and when they turn sixteen they go back to the big girl room and are put in charge of watching the other girls."

"Quite a process," Kisame laughed a little under his breath.

"Yeah but it works out pretty well this way. Usually either Piper or Ren will be in the little girl room, but with how Ren has been acting lately it's been a little difficult on Piper. We do have one girl that's about to turn seventeen though so hopefully she'll replace me on excursions with Miki and Miu so I can stay here and help Piper."

"So you're the eldest?" asked Kisame.

"Uh…yeah. There were two other girls that were older than me," Saika murmured. "But they're…they're gone now."

"Ah," Kisame nodded. He assumed 'gone' meant dead so he wasn't going to press the subject further. "So how many girls are here total?"

"Twenty total. We have four toddlers and three helpers in the little girl room, seven older girls and three helpers in the big girl room and then there's me, Miki and Miu."

Kisame frowned, he had expected there to be more. "It must be pretty difficult to get new kids out of the village," said Kisame, indirectly commenting on their number.

Saika nodded and sighed. "Even more difficult these past few years… If…If Piper does end up taking you… please don't screw her over… If she's not there to pick up the baby…they'll have to…well…they won't have any choice but to…"

"She was right," Kisame said stiffly.

'_Right about what?'_ Saika wondered and then it clicked. _'He _had _been bluffing.'_

Demon of the hidden mist indeed he was but he wasn't completely heartless.

* * *

><p>Kisame stretched out across his futon, his arms folding behind his head. He tried to ignore the way his borrowed shirt rode up; he had already lost the battle with the damn thing as far as he was concerned.<p>

Though on the plus side when he did finally get his normal clothing back all of it would be clean, so he figured he could suffer through wearing a shirt two sizes too small and a pair of pants that would be better suited for someone a foot shorter than him.

This wasn't the first time he found himself captured but it was the first time his captor had insisted on washing his clothes. Then again this was also the first time his captors had fed him regularly, didn't attempt any form of torture, and allowed him to move around.

For behind held against his will this wasn't so bad. Tomorrow would mark his third day there though and he knew he needed to start giving some serious thought to escape plans; he had places to go and people to kill.

Kisame gave a huff of annoyance as one hand came out from behind his head to drag down his face slowly; stopping one he reached his chin. He was still drawing complete blanks as far as escape plans went. He wasn't supposed to meet back up with Itachi for another three days which meant that his partner wasn't even aware of his capture at the moment so any help from him was completely out of the question.

Kakuzu had found a way to work around what Kisame was guessing was the same technique but then again he doubted that Kakuzu was constantly being monitored by a horde of rats.

No, the key to his freedom resided in Piper. She was obviously very confident in her little setup but there had to be a flaw or weakness somewhere. She was a difficult person to observe though, she might _watch_ him every waking minute but his actual contact with her was limited.

'_Every waking minute,' _Kisame mused.

That infernal woman _had_ to sleep at some point and it was reasonable to believe that she couldn't watch him while she was sleeping.

Kisame lifted his head up enough to glare out into the hallway. He wasn't sure what time it was but he knew it had to be late. The entire hideout had gone completely silent but an hour earlier he could hear the squeals and giggles of little girls as their caretakers tried to con them into going to bed.

Piper still hadn't returned to her room though, but once she did he would wait a while and then test his little theory that Piper couldn't watch him while she was asleep.

Several hours passed, three actually, if Kisame had gauged the timed correctly. Finally the sounds of sever soft footsteps echoed down the hall.

Kisame shifted on his bed, enough to get a clear view of Pipers door. When she did come into his line of sight he noted that she looked exceptionally tired and he knew he wouldn't have to wait very long until she was asleep.

"Sorry sensei," he heard Miu and Miki say sheepishly from somewhere further down the hall, prompting Piper to turn her head sharply and glare in their direction before disappearing into her room.

One minute blurred into five, five into ten, ten into twenty until Kisame was certain that at least an hour had passed. Carefully and silently he pulled himself up and off of his futon and moved to the doorway.

If this worked he would need to find Samehada and possibly his clothes but for the moment he simply wanted to make sure that it _would_ work. He moved to the middle of the hallway, as if headed for the bathroom and then paused. He knew that the rooms of the other girls were to his right so logically the exit would be somewhere to his left, someone like Piper would want to put herself in the way of any intruders that ventured into their hideout. He stood there for a few moments, waiting to feel himself being pulled back but when he didn't, he turned left. Most old military bases were all the same, long empty stone hallways, and usually more than one level. He needed to figure out which level he was on. At the end of the current hallway he was walking there was a T branching out left and right, Kisame took a step to go left but was stopped.

"What are you doing?"

Kisame spun around quickly to face a groggy looking Piper; he hadn't even heard her come up behind him.

'_Seeing if I could sneak out?' _Kisame inwardly peeped.

"Why didn't you just give me those?" he chose to ask instead, as he pointed to the oversized shirt and pants she was wearing. He decided a subject change was better than actually answering her question.

"You want to wear my pajamas?" Piper asked dryly.

"They…would fit better," Kisame replied awkwardly.

"Right," Piper said, arching a wry brow. "Well I will gladly exchange clothing with you in exchange for answering my question. What are you doing?"

Kisame's head cocked to one side as he gave her a smirk. "Just looking for the kitchen, wanted a glass of water."

She wasn't outright accusing him of trying to sneak away so he wasn't going to outright admit that he was.

"Mm," she hummed. "The kitchen, if that's what you can call it, is to the right."

"Ah, well I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't shown up then," said Kisame as he pivoted on his bare heel to turn right. "Would have ended up wandering dark halls until I eventually succumbed to dehydration."

"Oh that would be a shame," Piper replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she fell into step beside Kisame.

"My rats are quite intelligent," said Piper, when Kisame remained silent. "And we share a special bond, even when I'm asleep I'm aware of everything that goes on around here."

It was her way of saying 'Nice try but I was aware of your movements the moment you stepped out of your room.'

'_Fuck,'_ Kisame inwardly groaned.

Escaping was _not_ going to be easy.


	5. Fraternizing

**_Chapter 5: Fraternizing_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>It's amazing how you make your face just like a wall, how you take your heart and turn it off,<em>**  
><strong><em>how I turn my head and lose it all.<em>**

* * *

><p>Piper handed Kisame a pink plastic cup full of water to Kisame then leaned back against the sink to watch him drink, an amused expression playing on her features.<p>

To Kisame she didn't look amused at all, she looked smug. There was only one possible reason for looking smug, she had caught him and was now gloating about it. Whatever smugness was in Pipers expression was completely in his head though, if he had access to a full length mirror he might have understood the reasons behind her look. She had been getting quite a laugh out of the way the shark was dressed, she knew the clothing would be small but Piper didn't think it would be _that_ small. His pants looked more like capris and the shirt looked rather uncomfortable with how it stretched across his chest. Seeing Kisame wandering down the hall and tugging the shirt down every few steps he took had only added to her amusement.

She hadn't taken alarm to his wandering because the door to the stairs that led to the top level and the exit actually resided on the far end of the hall where their rooms were located. If she had allowed him to continue in the way that he had been he really would have ended up wandering dark hallways all night.

Piper snorted; if Kisame ever did get free he would have no idea where he was going.

Kisame bristled at the sound, now she was _laughing_ at him. If there was one thing Kisame hated, it was being laughed at. His eyes scanned over her quickly, looking for anything that he might possibly insult to counter her amusement.

"Nice shiner, one of the kids give you that?" Kisame mocked, motioning to the ever darkening flash around her left eye. He noticed the black eye when they had entered the light of the kitchen but had yet to say anything.

Piper reached up to gingerly press her fingertips to the abused flesh, she had been hit pretty hard but she hadn't expected to bruise.

"Miki and Miu got a little carried away during training," she said, not bothered at all by the tone he had taken.

"Taken off guard by your own students, you're quite the Sensei aren't you?"

Piper shook her head and smiled a little. He seemed to have a thing for conflict and for whatever reason was try to pick an argument. "I'm not very proficient in taijutsu but the twins have a violent streak so rather than have them pummel any of the other girls I usually act as their punching bag."

'_Not very proficient in taijutsu eh?'_ Kisame thought. _'Meaning that she would get her ass handed to her in a close range, hand to hand situation.'_

"But what I lack in taijutsu I more than make up for in other ways," Pipere added in response to the look he was giving her. To add emphasis to her statement her fingers twitched and Kisame was pulled back a step. "Don't you think?"

"Sure," Kisame remarked blandly and then smirked. "Hey if they need a sparring partner I could offer my services, you'd have to allow me a little chakra though."

"Not going to happen," Piper laughed.

"It was worth a shot right?" Kisame replied, his grin slipping into a small lopsided smile.

Piperes head cocked to one side, her eyes darting to his mouth. His teeth _looked_ sharp but it didn't seem very logical or practical for them to be as sharp as an actual shark tooth…not that she had ever actually seen a shark took but she _had_ seen pictures.

She took a step towards Kisame, her eyes still trained on his mouth.

"Leaves fall during what season?" she asked.

Kisame's brows furrowed in confusion. Was that some kind of coded question?

"Au-ah."

The moment he had opened his mouth to reply Piper had reached up to press her thumb against one of his upper teeth, which cut him off before he could finish answering her.

"Huh," she breathed as her hand fell back to her side.

There was a moment of stunned silence where Kisame, slack-jawed, could only watch as she took up her original position leaning against the sink.

"What they hell was that?" he snapped once his body caught up with his brain.

"I wanted to see if they were sharp," Piper shrugged, as if it had been a natural gesture.

"Or course they are," Kisame grumbled.

Piper glanced down at her thumb, observing the slight indentation left from pressing it against the tooth. She had pressed relatively hard and it hadn't broken through the skin. "Not really."

"It's incredibly rude to go shoving your fingers into people's mouths without their permission."

"So you would have given me permission if I had asked?"

"…no."

"Exactly."

* * *

><p>Piper was an annoying woman, with no regard for personal space and boundaries but Kisame had to admit…she did smell nice.<p>

After she had shoved her thumb in his mouth they had exchanged a few more insults which ended in her calling his laugh weird and then Piper had ushered Kisame back to his room. He had completely forgotten about his comment concerning her pajamas until she showed up in his room wearing a smaller, though still frumpy looking, set of clothing then handed him what she had previously been wearing. The navy colored pants and dark green shirt did fit a lot better but they were still a tad too small.

Kisame turned over onto his side to stare at the wall. His movements caused another wave of Pipers scent to hit him. She smelled like…soap. Nothing particularly extraordinary but after years of having little to no contact with women anything that smelled even remotely feminine could be classified as nice. Now if he could ignore the idea of who the scent belonged to it might be somewhat enjoyable.

He was still disappointed that he had been caught during his little exploitation of the hideout but at least he did walk away with a small bit of information. Piper would be helpless against him if it came to hand to hand combat. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with that information… which was probably why she hadn't minded telling him.

Kisame scowled at the wall. So essentially, his escape was a bust and the only bit of information he walked away with was useless.

"Damn it."

* * *

><p>"Move, or I'm going to piss myself!" Miki screeched as she all but tackled Kisame to get to the bathroom door before he could.<p>

"Don't you have your own bathroom?" Kisame grumbled as she slammed the door on his face.

From the other side of the door he could hear Miki begin a muffled rant. It was hard to make out what she was saying but there was something about Miu and the fact that she was a bathroom hog.

"All yours," said Miki as she stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later. She was about to step around Kisame but stopped. Her eyes roamed Kisame from head to toe and then back up again, a slow grin spreading across her lips all the while.

"Niiiice," she laughed.

Kisame was floored. Had she _really_ just ogled him? No not just ogled, but ogled and then had the nerve to actually comment.

"Way too young," he muttered, stepping around her and into the safety of the bathroom.

He heard Miki laugh and then stop short. "Hey Saika!" she yelled.

"Yeah?" Saika called back.

Kisame rolled his eyes. Rather than shouting at the other girl, who sounded like she was on the other side of the hall, he didn't understand why she didn't just walk over to her.

"Piper is fraternizing with the prisoner!"

"…Wha?" Kisame breathed at the same time Saika yelled back the same confused inquiry.

"He's totally wearing her pajamas!" Miki laughed.

Kisame stared down at the drawstring he had been trying to untie until Miki's little comment. Girls liked to jump to conclusions far too often; it was just another reason _not_ to like them. He shook his head and continued undoing the knot tied in the drawstring, trying to simply ignore the irritating girl right outside the door.

"…Maybe they just look like her…"

"No they're hers," Miki interrupted. "C'mere, wait till he gets out."

"Even if they are that doesn't mean anything," Kisame heard Saika sigh, her voice closer to the door now.

'_At least one of them has some sense,'_ Kisame thought.

"That did they do then?" Miki snorted. "Decide to trade pajamas in the middle of the night for no reason what so ever?"

Kisame groaned then quickly washed his hands before jerking the bathroom door open roughly. "Yes actually," he said.

"That's a load of shit," Miki cackled.

Saika didn't say anything at all but her fierce glare spoke volumes.

* * *

><p>Piper glanced to Saika through the corner of her eye as she loaded the various essentials for snack-time into a bag. She knew exactly what Saika wanted from her, a nice dose of unneeded reassurance. Piper had already made it clear that the only thing that had happened the night before was that she had simply given Kisame a set of better fitting clothes, clothes that just happened to be the pajamas she usually wore. Miki had only laughed and stated that she had figured nothing had happened and had been looking for an opportunity to give her sensei a hard time.<p>

Saika though…Saika was being downright childish about the whole thing.

'_No,'_ Piper thought warily, as she gave Saika another glance. _'No, not childish.'_

The behavior Saika was exhibiting was very much adult in nature. Over the past year the young woman's gazes began lingering longer than necessary; she began looking for reasons to be around Piper as much as possible and would occasionally give a dejected sigh while watching her sensei... Actions that hadn't gone unnoticed by Piper but had always been pointedly ignored.

Saika had developed affections for Piper that stemmed out further than just admiration and friendship. She had yet to actually say anything and Piper hoped that she never would because sexuality aside Piper knew she would never be able to return those same feelings. She had known Saika for seven years, almost eight, and had watched her grow from a grubby little kid into a young woman but she still couldn't help but see her as that child that she once knew.

It was Pipers hope that one day she would give up, perhaps take a hint from the twins and resort to raunchy romance novels to sooth her need for some sort of romantic involvement.

"Do you think he's attractive?" Saika asked suddenly. There was a light air to her question but Piper easily picked up on the serious undertones.

"Nothing happened," Piper replied tightly.

"It was just a question," Saika defended, using that same deceptive tone. "…but do you?"

"Yes, he's attractive," Piper sighed in exasperation. In a way she was telling the truth, Kisame _did_ have a nice body but that fact that he was blue, had gills on his cheeks, beady black eyes and monstrous teeth disturbed her more than anything else.

'_Keh, yeah…attractive only if I can paint him a more normal color and put a bag over his head… but if it helps get Saika over this ridiculous crush I will gladly feign attraction.' _

"Oh," Saika mumbled.

Piper had to fight a wince when she caught the hurt look that flashed across Saika's features.

"Will you take these down to the girls?" Piper asked softly, motioning to the bag she had finished filling.

"Huh? Aren't you coming?"

"No," Piper shook her head. "Ren seems to be doing okay today, so I figured I would take this opportunity to re-bind Kisame while she's in the little girl room."

Saika frowned. "What all will you need to do?"

"Hn, well I'll need to get him subdued again because I'll have to release him from…"

"I could do that," Saika cut in. "I-I mean… with how things have been lately, you've not really been able to spend a lot of time with the older girls. I could get it started…then a-at least you can be there for their snack-time. They miss you ya'know."

Piper regarded Saika carefully, looking for any sort of ulterior motives.

"I don't think…"

"Oh c'mon, they're always asking about why you never come to see them. Just gotta chain him up to the wall right?"

* * *

><p>"Up against the wall," Saika said darkly as she loomed over Kisame. She had waited in their kitchen until she was absolutely sure Piper had time to reach the lower level before going to Kisame's room. She really hoped the shark would resist, beating him into submission would help further alleviate some of the frustration she was feeling at that moment.<p>

Somewhere in the back of her mind she _knew_ Miki's comment had only been in jest, she _knew_ Piper would never sink so low as to do anything with the likes of Kisame and she even _knew_ that the comment about finding him attractive was only because Piper had been frustrated. She knew all of this and yet… it was something to hold onto. It was easier to tell herself that Piper wanted someone like Kisame rather than tell herself that Piper just didn't want her.

She knew that Piper already knew about how she felt because each time Saika came close to telling her, Piper would fix her with a cold look and then turn away.

-And somehow, at that moment, it was Kisame's fault. Irrational or not, the notion proved her ease her mind. The more rational side of her brain assumed that it was easier to lose when there was competition rather than lose in a race you were running alone.

"Why?" Kisame yawed in response to her command.

"Piper needs to re-bind you and you need to be chained back up for her to do that."

"Well," Kisame half groaned, half said as he stood from his futon. He didn't like the way she was standing over him, if she wanted to play the imitation card he was going to even the playing field. "That doesn't make me feel very motivated to do what you say. So what do you plan on doing to make me?"

"You really want to find out?" Saika growled, her fists balling up at her sides as she looked up at Kisame.

Before Kisame could respond with whatever smart response he had come up with he felt himself being tugged backwards.

'_At least she's not pulling me around like a fucking dog anymore,'_ Kisame thought absently as his back eventually met the cold surface of the wall.

Saika glared at him as she placed on hand on his shoulder and forced him down to his knees before quickly closing the shackles over each wrist.

"Ow," Kisame snapped when one shackle pinched his skin.

"Sorry," Saika smiled in mock sweetness.

"I'm sure you are."

He hadn't been there for very long so he couldn't say anything definitive about the girl's personalities but Saika had thus far come off as a rather pleasant individual, he didn't understand her sudden one-eighty.

Saika stood over Kisame waiting for some feeling of satisfaction but it never came. Actually she felt worse than before.

Rather than force him back against the wall like Piper had done before she had gently pulled him back. _Gently!_

There was no reason to be gentle with someone like _him_.

'_Piper did say _subdue_ him.'_

Without warning or any fleeting thoughts Saika raised her fist high and then brought it down hard, colliding perfectly with Kisame's jaw.

The shark went limp almost instantly and Saika got the satisfaction she was looking for.

* * *

><p>"Piper?" Mami asked in concern as she pulled gently at her sister's sleeve.<p>

Piper in response sighed, her free hand coming up to pinch the bridge of her nose. _Jealousy_ was almost understandable at Saika's age but attacking someone in a situation that didn't call for any violence was ridiculous. It was getting to the point where Piper didn't see any way around sitting Saika down and having a talk with her.

"Promise me you'll never grow into an insane hormonal teen," Piper mumbled as she pulled her hand away from her face to look down at Mami.

"What did Miki and Miu do this time?" asked Mami.

"For once it wasn't either of them."

* * *

><p>AN: Conflict conflict conflict<p>

Guess I should have labeled this story as Drama. I really wish FF would allow you three categories -_-

Anywho I still plan on keeping this story as light and humorous as possible.

Also, hadn't mentioned it before but this will eventually be Kisame/Piper and perhaps oc/oc but I haven't decided on that one yet. Considering Piper and Kisame are not exactly on great terms at the moment don't expect any romance any time soon :P

Two new individual Character sheets up, (Piper/ The Twins) you can find the links on my profile.

To SimCityLlamas: Heh, I had completely forgotten about that book. Yeah I suppose there are some similarities there XD


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